Dependency – Independency-Co creativity ~ The Beacon for July 19, 2011

In life we all go through varying stages in regards to relationships.  For most people they begin in a dependent place.  Here we see that something other than ourselves is responsible for or is to blame for our health, joy, connection or love.  This can be a parent, partner, doctor, food, substance, or behavior.   This is often where many people begin when they start chiropractic care with me.  They are in a tough place and need help to get better.  This is not bad or wrong and sometimes is quite necessary.   However, it is no place to live forever.  People here relate on a 50%-50% basis of “give and take” or some combination thereof.

As I begin to work with people we teach them rightful thinking about health, how true health comes from within and that ultimately they are responsible for their state.  We also help them reconnect to their innate healing abilities.  During this time I see people become self empowered, strong and able to step into life full force as whole and healthy people. They regain their independence.    In relationships this happens as well.   Two people may live together, however have moved away from needing each other and being dependant on each other.   They are both very strong, whole and able people.  Life is split down the middle, each sharing responsibilities and duties.  Sometimes when people enter this stage of their relationship they are tempted to do things by themselves as they no longer need the other person and often many do.  But this isn’t the highest form of relationship.  People here relate on a 100% - 100% basis. 

The next step in relationship is being co-creative.  This is where we can dance in relationship as two whole and healthy individuals who don’t need each other but find that life is better together.   People learn what each other’s skills and gifts are and what they like doing most and come together in a co-creative way.    This takes surrendering and allowing others in, not because they have to but because there is huge opportunity in it.  Many people see a chiropractor for this reason, again, not that they need to or have to but that they choose to and have found that life is better when they do.   In a co-creative relationship people find that 1 + 1 = 3 or more, that the partnership is greater than the sum of its parts. 

Where ever you are in your relationships may you be wise to grow towards your highest good.  

Yours in co-creation

Dr. Norm